I've often pondered the effectiveness of staying in an armpit like Guerneville, Ca. I love this town, don't get me wrong (and I can see how misleading the "armpit" comment can be) but how much time must pass before we realize that the many families that supported the town are now GONE? Guerneville does NOT have any sort of self-sustaining qualities, with the exception of a few wealthy families who've basically made it homebase. The quality of life isn't enhance with amenities for families: this is my ONLY argument against the influx of the gay population in the 1980s. Aside from the lack of "family-friendliness," I've no other problems. And to tell you the truth, the "family" situation was no better before them, either. The hopping-time was in the 1920s, a time when America's values were structure SO much differently than they are today. The dollar had FAR less weight in decisions and service was the at the forefront of the operations of the day. Today you see money all over the place: "Sale; Business for Sale; Locals Specials; Extended Hours!"...to me, this all rings in a bunch of bullshit. The businesses are starving for money and yet are constantly shooting themselves in the foot by arrogantly selling shit that NOBODY needs, stubbornly keeping their prices high and exhibiting an unwillingness to be a community by criticizing those who DO get off their asses for their community. The number-crunching mentality has taken its toll on the families of the community....and I am exhausted. The sad part? There ARE business owners who pride themselves in being a part of a community, and they are! But the clock wont work unless ALL the clogs are moving together...so we keep skipping the beat.
I gave up a couple years ago when I had to close the Guerneville Farmer's Market. I took it SO personally: it was my failure, for many reasons and most of the fault lied within me. I relied on my community for its success and it flopped. Another failure for me was the Friends of the Russian River Skatepark. I truly expected to at LEAST have established a seasonal, temporary skatepark for the skaters of this town....the culprit? A community that was (and still is) unwilling to invest time, energy and money into its youth. So why-the-fuck bother?
The thought of relocating crossed my mind when two dear friends of mine were complimenting me of their gifts for Christmas. His words, "Get out of Dodge!" still resonate in my head. "Why would I do that? This is my home! This is where I want to be!" Well, shit. Is it?
So do I join the ranks of families that have left the area for better, more wholesome opportunities for my children? Or do I endure through the garbage and subject my family to a mediocre lifestyle which we're forced to settle for? Fortunately, this decision doesn't have to be made today, or even tomorrow. It's still going to depress the FUCK out of me.
Guerneville is my home. It's a mangey, little outback, corner-of-the-Universe, kind of town that's slowly (but surely) becoming engulfed by the cancerous "wine industry." Which, let me just say, is FUCKING RETARDED because that would mean MORE deforestation of what is left of the world's original redwood forest. All for what? Money? and Nasty-tasting wine? Fuck off! This shit tastes like fishshit water with a hint of grape juice. I just don't get it!
ON another note:
How's a little indecision to stir up the anxiety pot? Today, I took the girl and ratdog to Santa Rosa. Did you catch that? I went to Santa Rosa!!! Woot! That's awesome for me! We went into K-Mart to exchange some clothes for her that were too small and walked out with new slippers and valentines stuffies. A day well spent. :-)
Well, not much today on anxiety, but the Missoula thing is still very important for me to mull over on some sleep. If by Friday I'm still feeling this way, I'll look deeper into the politics of the town, maybe even give the Chamber of Commerce a jingle. But for now, I'm here in my little River town that I love and love to hate.
Good night, y'all.
Yeah, that place... I remember making a conscious decision to move when my daughter was under 2, based on what I saw the teenagers, including that hubs you got there, going through. I really wanted my kids to have more access to stuff as teens. As crappy in many ways as GR has been, there is a great underage music scene here, and the kids have always had venues to go hear small local bands for 2-5 bucks, and have been able to do so since around 12 or 13.
ReplyDeleteMissoula? I just see Connor outside, on a bike or a board or with a fishing pole over his shoulder on the way to the river or a creek all the time. And when he's just a bit bigger, 8 maybe or 10, getting dropped of at Snowbowl for the day with a board and a few bucks for lunch.
I loved Guerneville once, but man! It's not a stretch to remember why I wanted to leave, and I don't regret leaving it. That was another really positive revelation in 09... the River is NOT my place anymore.
moving your whole life is always a scary thing. I've done it several times and always for the better. You on the other hand have tried it a couple of times unsuccessfully. That definitely doesn't mean you shouldn't try again. just be better prepared and ready when next you do it. its too bad but you can never know for sure until you pick up stakes and bet it all. at least its a new idea to ponder......
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