Maintain

I'm walking down Main St., Guerneville when it dawns on me I need to visit my buddy Sam and get my hair cut, so I travel to the corner of Church and Main where the ol' Bar and Salon is. You have to walk through this rank, dangy bar to get to what used to be a dual-level laboratory turned to modern slice-and-dice Beauty Salon. I walk in and EVERYBODY is SO happy to see me, kinda like the weird nurses and doctors in the dream sequence scene of Pee Wee's Big Adventure, big red smiles and crazy clown eyes, and yet I can identify everybody! Ahhh!!! SO Sam takes me by the shoulder and plops me into her chair on the lower level, which upon closer inspection one would discover that the lower level was in fact an empty shallow pool. Ok. Anyways, Sam starts in on giving me a TOTAL work over, including sewing fake eyelashes to my real ones, insisting that it'll give my eyes the much needed oxygen that they seemed to be lacking. On my face is Sam, sewing away, and at my feet is Owen, in drag of course, but not his usual dragness; fucking scary, Pee Wee clown drag. Uggh! He's painting my toes with clown-red color and Sam has completed one eye when I've just about had enough! I jumped up and made an escape for my life. I run out the door and all of a sudden, I'm standing next to the Primary Grade building at Guerneville School, and I'm Sheryl Crow. Ok, seriously? WTF?! I start walking down the concrete ramp towards the play yard, in that Sheryl Crow, catwalk style, when all of a sudden the entire yard is COVERED in mud and grass and is completely flooded. Suddenly, I turn into a horse and start romping around in the mud....then my puppy starts howling and I wake up in the MIDDLE of an pretty intense adrenaline rush.

No wonder I was keeping the panic at bay all day!

In hindsight, it's pretty amusing that I would conjure up a seeming meaningless scenario such as this! But I spent a could portion of the day ignoring the voice in my head that tries to hard to convince me that I'm crazy and I should be locked up. When I can't talk it down, I ignore it, so that's what I did today.

Today, the last day of Spring Break; I usually look forward to getting things back on track 'cause that means it's a break from my family and everybody has their respectable places to be during the day. But this year was bitter/sweet, because I finally got to experience that simple life and solitude that I've been desiring now for months; what a quick end to a truly enjoyable vacation.

My favorite things about this vacation:

-Playtime with my babies, especially playing Apples to Apples when the power went out

-Watching the infant sprouts of the beginnings of our garden emerge more and more by each day

-Chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate

-Getting to have the WORST period of my life at home, in bed, not in a classroom

-Time to sew

-Rearranging our home so it becomes just that: Our Home.

-Reconnecting with the hubby in our room, with a door that has a lock on it

-Having a full refrigerator and pantry

-Reading a book that wasn't assigned and FINISHING it

-Watching endless episodes of MASH till the wee hours of the day with my beloved

-Making myself a new bag...yes that's right. This one's for ME:

One of the CUTEST skirts-trajedies turned to new and improved awesome hippy girl bag, that's all for me, me me ME! It wasn't mine while I was making it, but I've decided that I deserve it, after all that work, not to mention just how far I've come these past 6 months.

Tomorrow begins the onslaught of getting back on track, into a semi-new routine, and finding the strength to complete homework again.